Here are some questionable personal musings to throw out there…
— Not that it’s happened personally for years, but… do seagulls aim?
— Parenting:
1. Do parents who make a spectacle of talking nice to their brats in public, yell at them at home (and why isn’t it working)?
2. As black parents do spank (it’s a cultural thang), is that why they rarely appear on nanny shows?— Who was the first person to hear, “If ya gotta go, ya gotta go” and where was he or she kicked out of?
But wait, there’s more!
— Most people only use turn signals when they wish to make unsafe lane changes.
— Who was the first person to make pajamas a public fashion statement, and what was the situation?
— Bears do shit in the woods. We just don’t know where.
— Who is the audience laughing during The Flintstones?
— People who post rude comments on the Internet would be a lot nicer if we knew where they lived.
— Who were the first persons to clap in public and what were they thinkin’?
— Why don’t fans cheering at a game cancel each other out?
— Who picks up road kill and where do they put it?
— You can pick out a liberal by appearance alone.
— Do people who post video of their illegal activities online (it’s called ‘evidence’) really believe they won’t get caught?
— Isn’t a “home run” really a home jog?
— If living for eternity with 72 virgins really is paradise, if the guy is ugly, did those women get hosed?
Unanswered musings can make one slowly go insane.
Who’s to say the 72 virgins are women? If they are women AND virgins, does that mean they are ugly? Couldnt they be lesbian virgins and therefore unattracted to men?
THe possibilties are endless…..
— Not that it’s happened personally for years, but… do seagulls aim?
Seagulls are birdbrains. Literally. I doubt seriously if there is enough synapse available for such. However, I do suspect that there is a physical, even “aeronautical” explanation for the phenomenon. Consider that the human body is typically going to be warmer than the surrounding air and that would create a tiny thermal. Seagulls are state machines that can handle thermals in the air for flight, that’s why they love to congregate over the parking lots where you can watch them “playing” in the rising thermals from hot cars, roof-mounted air conditioners, etc. See, I learn a lot while sittin’ in the car at the mall waitin’ for the missus to tire of her “gathering” drive (grin)…
1. Do parents who make a spectacle of talking nice to their brats in public, yell at them at home (and why isn’t it working)?
Since that whole thang is owned by the leftoids and since hypocrisy is what they do best, the answer is a well-qualified YES.
2. As black parents do spank (it’s a cultural thang), is that why they rarely appear on nanny shows?
Likely the reason is the same as the reason that blacks don’t appear much on MSNBC or CNN as anything other than “the victim” or “the perp”…
— Who was the first person to say, “If ya gotta go, you gotta go” and where did that happen?
John Crapper, in a fine example of an early attempt at advertising sloganeering.
–But wait, there’s more!
Oh, goody!
— Most people only use turn signals when they wish to make unsafe lane changes.
The underlying cause for this is that most people simply always make unsafe lane changes, whether they signal or not. Yes, it is possible to make a safe lane change without signaling, but the practice is frowned upon by traffic authorities.
— Who was the first person to make pajamas a public fashion statement, and what was the situation?
That one started with the child molesters, Bob…
— Bears do shit in the woods. We just don’t know where.
I see you’ve never hunted bear. Searching for the scat is quite often part of the procedure, at least for the successful hunter, that is. Whether or not the Pope is Catholic is the real unanswered question. (grin) Bear meat, on the other hand, when prepared by The Machine in gourmet fashion, is delicious. You ain’t lived until you’ve harvested a black bear with a handgun. Do it wrong and you may not live at all.
— Who is the audience laughing during The Flintstones?
Depends on which firm the production folks purchased their “claque” or laugh track from. Find that out and it may be possible to provide data on the original recordings. The lousiest ones of the time period tried to use multitracking to make the louder laffs, a truly artificial sound if there ever was one. In any case, the recordings were made using pro voices, which only means that they got paid to do the gig.
— People who post rude comments on the Internet would be a lot nicer if we knew where they lived.
Life experience shows me that some would — and some wouldn’t. There was a time in my life when I used to go around just looking for the ones who wouldn’t. Back in the day, when barfights did not incude idiots with high-capacity 9′s anyway…
— Who was the first person to clap in public and why?
Some historians point to the ancient Greek theater, be advised that other historians argue against that and we will likely never know for certain. i’ve always like the way Bill Cosby aurally gives an applaus prompt: “Bang your hands together!”
— Why don’t fans shouting at a game cancel each other out?
Because sound energy is additive in nature. If the fans for one side were 180 degrees out of phase with the fans from the other side, *exactly 190 degrees out of phase* — then the two equal energies would indeed cancel out and there would be silence.
— Who picks up road kill and where do they put it?
Depends upon the state. When I was a kid, the state of Pennsylvania allowed the State Troopers to haul larger animals such as deer to the local prison or orphanage, where they were used as a source of food. But then the liberal protectors of all things imaginary got laws passed to prevent such useful uses of the meat — and today the deer get piled up in stinking and gross open depositories that the vultures don’t even go near. The deer are the property of the state.
— You can pick out a liberal by appearance alone.
Absolutely. I’m batting pretty near 1000 on that one. (Those wishing to learn, first thing to look for is the crows feet lines around the eyes, even in the young ones they are small but they are there. Likely from all the whining and complaining and screwed up faces.)
— Do people post video of their illegal activities online (it’s called ‘evidence’) really believe they won’t get caught?
To paraphrase Einstein, the only truly infinite thing in this universe is human stupidity. In this case, the aforementioned birdbrain seagulls take the upper path.
— Isn’t a “home run” really a home jog?
It wasn’t back in the days of the Homestead Grays and other examples of the famous “Negro League” teams.
— If living for eternity with 72 virgins really is paradise, if the guy is ugly, did those women get hosed?
Apparently muslim women *always* get hosed. Next question.
Here in Tennessee they passed a law in 1999 that states:
”Wild animals accidentally killed by a motor vehicle may be possessed by any person for personal use and consumption.”
This inspired many jokes and Redneck Roadkill Cookbooks and even a “Cat: The Other White Meat” bumper sticker.
Dogs and cats, however, are specifically exempted from the law.
Hey Machine, the bear scat reminded me of a signwe saw on our Motorhome trip to Alaska. There was a sign outside of a Camkground that said it is a good idea to wear bells when walking in the bush, as it will let bears know you are coming & they will usually leave. It also said you could tell the difference between Black Bear scat & Grizzly Bear scat, as Black Bear scat has seeds, berries & rabbit fur but Grizzly Bear scat has seeds, rabbit fur & Bells!
Since I am a believer, we always carried Bear Spray & large caliber gun with us when away from civilization. We didn’t have any bells, but I carried a portable boat air horn. It sure scared my better half & our dog, so figured it might either scare Bears away or really piss them off. In that case I still had the 357 cal Magnum. We did see Bear scat & we scat away very quickly. I don’t think we saw any virgins on our trip!
If going up against a bear with the .357, stay very calm and make your whole world the front sight, for staying alive in that situation is going to grind down to shot placement, shot placement and shot placement.
And I meant that three times in earnest. Don’t stop firing until Ole Smokey is down for the count.
That or Ole Smokey might show you a whole new way to holster that thing, ya’ll hear?
.357 is a good manstopper, given the right round, but Smokey, well, it might just prove to piss the bear off more’n anything else unless you get that shot placement spot on, man. And you’re likely loading 125 grain factory ammo, too.
That’s from a guy who has actually killed a black bear with a 7.5″ bbl Ruger. But I was using my hot “Elmer Keith” 180 grain cast wadcutter with gas check hollowpoint reloads at the time. Don’t expect today’s “dumbed down” .357 store bought ammo to hit like that. It doesn’t. And it still took three shots to drop the bear.
Heh. It is right after the first hit, when the bear turns, looks at you and stands up. That’s when the shit hits the fan. Stay cool and slowly aim for the head shot now…
Still, you’re better armed than most of the ninnies out there.
And it ain’t the bears that are dangerous these days…
“2. As black parents do spank (it’s a cultural thang), is that why they rarely appear on nanny shows?”
could be. Hell, I was spanked too. never got into any major trouble
“— Who was the first person to make pajamas a public fashion statement, and what was the situation?”
I’d love to know that as I wouldn’t be caught in public wearing PJs..
“— Most people only use turn signals when they wish to make unsafe lane changes.”
I’ve noticed
“— Bears do shit in the woods. We just don’t know where.”
the REAL question is – do we care?
“— Who is the audience laughing during The Flintstones?”
laugh track
“— People who post rude comments on the Internet would be a lot nicer if we knew where they lived.”
see “Jay and Silent Bob strike back”
“— Why don’t fans cheering at a game cancel each other out?”
THAT’s a GOOD one!!
“— Who picks up road kill and where do they put it?”
in California, I imagine CalTrans
“— You CAN pick out a liberal by appearance alone.”
for me, sometimes, very rarely though. I did see a liberal’s car
yesterday, overcompensating, practically SCREAMING with bumper stickers. Feel free to make your own demotivator here
“— Do people who post video of their illegal activities online (it’s called ‘evidence’) really believe they won’t get caught?”
yes
“— Isn’t a “home run” really a home jog?”
yes
“— If living for eternity with 72 virgins really is paradise, if the guy is ugly, did those women get hosed?”
yes, but the bigger question is…should that “afterlife” really be taught?
I had that same feeling Machine, but since my wife was with me, I was more worried about her than I was myself. As it was we never did see a Grizzly, but there were signs they were there. No bells though. It was a fantastic trip & if Obama’s policies don’t push gas prices to $5/ gal or higher, we plan on doing it again. We will miss our traveling friend who was a 44yr of service Army Ranger who passed away in a VA Hospital due to Agent Orange last year. A close friend who lives in Anchorage carries a 44 magnum & his sentiment was the same as yours. He said with my pea shooter aim between the eyes & save one bullet – for me if I fail. My position on gun control is – use two hands.
If I go Salmon fishing next time I will have his 44 magnum with me, even though it looks like a miniature Howitzer!
On a serious note, please sign this petition and pass the site to many others to sign. These guys are getting the shaft and it should NOT happen.
http://www.paramountcommunication.com/NewsLetters/eagle/petition.aspx?mhash=%%QS_mhash%%
another serious note, ya I know it’s MONDAY and all, but they caught that “american al-qaeda” asshole in Pakistan no less!!
Wow…kinda bored down there in VA, huh?