In the unlikely event the liberals, academics, and the media ever got their way and the United States succumbed to the war on terror, what would life be like here in the place we once called home, and what might the ramifications be for the rest of the world?
Surrender wouldn’t come about easily. Even though our liberal brethren assure the terrorists we mean them no harm, I’d be willing to bet they’d still opt for the knockout punch. It would probably take a good detonation somewhere in America to make the liberal case that we could never win the war in the first place.
After all the attempts to make our conversion easier for the terrorists, they would show us no gratitude or mercy. The advance warning that their communications were being monitored, the media propaganda that our troops were murderers, despite living hand-to-mouth, the enemy would be emboldened even more to the point where they’d remind a defeated America just who’s the boss.
First of all, the name of our country would probably be changed to Osaman in honor of Osama bin Laden, the new George Washington. Of course, there are a lot of names that we can’t pronounce that could be chosen. I just made up a possibility.
The Qur’an would immediately replace our Constitution. All rights previously taken for granted by our citizenry would be removed permanently. There would be no free press, no privacy rights (maybe just for men), no civil rights protections, no abortion on demand, no protection against unlawful search and seizure, no equal rights protection, no right to an education, no right to assemble, no right to vote (maybe just for men), no gay marriage, no Christmas or previously observed holidays, no women’s rights, no employment protections, no free health care (maybe just for men), and the list of those petty little things we now expect goes on and on.
Fashion will take a major step backward. There would be no runways, and Tyra Banks would have to cover her face. Ellen DeGeneres would have to start off her show with a prayer instead of a dance, depending on how the new leadership deems the relevance of a gay woman on television. VH1 would be running the “100 Greatest Jihad Moments†over and over. The Style channel would be shut down out of a lack of subject matter. The Food Network would lose a good portion of their program because pork dishes would be banned. Sorry Emeril….
All of our sports teams will be dismantled, as soccer will become the national game. Fenway Park will be turned into an outdoor mosque, as there would be plenty of room to kneel to the east and pray.
Conservative columnists like myself would probably have to go into exile, as we’d automatically be deemed enemies of the new state.
Since liberals have always sought the demise of our Second Amendment, that would be one of the first things to go, as the ability to defend oneself from tyranny usually does in unfriendly dictatorships or theocracies. Any of us right wingers who’ve written in favor of defeating radical Islam would be either stoned to death, beheaded, or taken away with our families to languish in some prison that would make Abu Ghraib look like Motel 6.
As in most socialist governments, there would be a class of people that the rules wouldn’t apply to. The New Elite would enjoy all the creature comforts and excesses they lament about now.
However that may not apply to some. All American politicians would be jailed, with the exception of Congresswoman Barbara Lee, and would have all their previous anti-terror speeches used against them. Some would probably receive a softer sentence for bashing President Bush. The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) would immediately replace what we now know as the State Department. Cindy Sheehan might be given a token role as a probable Press Secretary; literally a secretary.
The media elite would consist of al Jezzeera, al-CNN and the al-Manhattanari Times. Judy Woodruff, Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters, and Oprah Winfrey would all be out of work and told to go home and serve their husbands. Julia Roberts, Barbra Streisand, and other female liberal actresses would be assigned projects that would conform to Islam and they’d probably take a pay cut as they wouldn’t be allowed to make more money than a man running a camera.
Atheists would be in a quandary. Although having to beatify Allah would fly in the face of everything they’ve fought against, anything to them is better than acknowledging God. Education would be retooled to teach nothing but the Qur’an. This would fly for awhile as academics have always found most foreign cultures superior to what we have now, and Ethnic Studies departments would flourish.
There would have to be some give-and-take for liberals in an Islamic-run America, but only on the part of former Americans. Women would have to leave the places of learning as both teacher and student. Yes, no more Womens Studies departments. Women would have lose their place in society along with all the things they cherish, including the choice what to do with their own bodies, as their bodies would be the property of some man. Seeing how husbands could now beat them and legally perform honor killings, that would be considered a small price to pay for the final defeat of the Neocons.
Failed dirty bomber José Padilla would be freed and celebrated as the new Nelson Mandela.
The environmentalists will partially get what they want. As the former industrial power that was the United States becomes an Islamic paradise, there will be few automobiles in use. Elitist Al Gore will be in heaven. Those who either work for government and/or their qualified relatives will drive the only cars on the road. Men will ride bicycles, and will be permitted to do so women if their father or husband allows such.
The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the Earth Liberation Front, People for the American Way, moveon.org, and other prominent liberal groups would have to retool their messages to those authorized under the Qur’an, if possible. Dogs will have a greater importance in society than any woman in those organizations. If they don’t conform, they will “disappear.â€
Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, The Dixie Chicks, Sheryl Crow, Harry Belafonte, Green Day, Bono, and the like would have to learn to sing in Arabic. “24†would be canceled and its writers charged with inciting insurrection.
Steven Spielberg would have to create a director’s cut of “Munichâ€, in fact, all movies where Islamic terrorists lost in the final reel would have to have alternate endings edited on, or they’d be banned altogether. All movies with alternative lifestyle content would probably be banned as well as they probably don’t fit in well with the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.
We’d eventually go to war with Canada and Mexico in an attempt to either annex them and turn them into Islamic states or destroy them and turn them into Islamic states. There is precedent for this prediction.
The list of changes in our way of life could go on and on. The changes would be dramatic, life-altering, and permanent. Any unauthorized deviation would result in probable death.
Okay, some may consider scenario this over-the-top but the terrorists aren’t playing games. Every anti-war comment and action gives those who are preparing for a post-America era more to work with.
I sincerely hope those who wish to internally tear down all that is present-day America are preparing for their place in their new world.
“They may not like what they find.â€
- Obi-wan Kenobi
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