Names Were Changed To Protect The Innocent

Okay, folks. It’s crunch time.

California State Assembly Bill 2115, introduced by the same Jackie Goldberg who gave us the Boy Scout ban, has now come up with another gem.

Her bill would “prohibit public schools, community colleges, the California State University, and the University of California, as specified, from using any school or athletic team name, mascot, or nickname that is derogatory or discriminatory against any race, ethnicity, nationality, or tribal group.”

White liberals to the rescue!

At first, I thought how patronizing this was since most names of major league teams using Indian names had attributes of strength and dignity. I have yet to hear of a team like the Oklahoma Drunken Sioux or the Nebraska Homeless Injuns. Stereotypes, of course, have no place in the naming of sports teams, but I fail to see any malice in these names. And upon further research, I’ve found some interesting facts.

Since it is my job to be informative and entertaining, I won’t leave anyone out. Let the games begin!

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
Anaheim Angels
The team was named after its original home Los Angeles, the “City of Angels”. Uh oh. A religious connotation. This may have to be changed soon….

The California Angles were born September 2, 1965. The team was later bought by Disney and renamed the Anaheim Angels. Mascot: Clutch and Scoop, the Bears.

Arizona Diamondbacks
Founded in 1998, the team was named after diamondback rattlesnakes that reside in the Arizona desert. Mascot: D. Baxter the Bobcat.

Atlanta Braves
Ready for this? The Braves were not named after the indigenous people who were a victim of genocide at the hands of evil white settlers. They were named in honor of James Gaffney, a Tammany Hall “Brave”, who bought the team in 1911.

The Braves are incidentally the oldest continuing operating sports franchise in America. The team was born in 1871 as the Boston Red Stockings. They would then roam to Milwaukee in 1953, and later to Atlanta in 1966. During their travels, they were known as the Beaneaters and Doves (through 1908), the Rustlers, Braves, Bees (1936-40), and Braves again. Mascot: Rally.

Baltimore Orioles
Simply named after the state bird of Maryland, the Baltimore Oriole. Luckily not yet on any endangered species list. Mascot: The Bird.

Boston Red Sox
Founded in 1901, this team was named after the famous Red Stockings of the 1870’s. Other names were the Pilgrims, the Puritans, the Plymouth Rocks, and the Somersets (indians) throughout 1906. Mascot: Wally, the Green Monster.

Chicago White Sox
Since 1901, this team was named after the color of the stockings worn by the players. This too could be considered racist, since a famous World Series scandal had at one time them dubbed the “Black Sox”. You know, when they were white, they were right….

Chicago Cubs
Since 1876, this team was named for the Chicago Orphans who promoted their rebuilding with youth. Could this be a violation of child labor laws or some kind of abuse?

Cincinnati Reds
America’s first professional baseball team. Founded March 15, 1869, they were originally called the Red Legs from 1944-45, then the Redlegs from 1954-60, and finally the Reds since 1961. Gotta be an indian slur in there somewhere, right?

Cleveland Indians
Okay, here we go! One of the more infamous, racist, politically incorrect mascot team names in professional sports.

In 1901, the Indians were named after Louis Frances Sockalexis, who was believed to be the very first Native American major league ballplayer. He was a Penobscot Indian (a Maine tribe), who played for the Cleveland Spiders in the 1880’s. Where Chief Wahoo came from is beyond me….

The Cleveland team also went by the names Broncos, Blues, Naps and Molly McGuires through 1914. Mascot: Slider.

Colorado Rockies
Formed in 1993, the team was named after the Rocky Mountains (and to the feminists out there, not after shapely waitresses at Hooters). Mascot: Dinger.

Detroit Tigers
Since 1901, the Tigers were named after the striped stockings they once used. Editor Philip Reid thought that these yellow and black sox were like those worn by the Princeton University Tigers football team. Ivy League. Liberal. Okay. Mascot: Paws.

Florida Marlins
One of the latest expansion teams in 1993, they were named after the large fish found off the coast, and also the name of a minor league team, the Miami Marlins. Again, not yet endangered. Mascot: Billy Marlin.

Houston Astros
Some foresight here.

In 1962, this team was originally named the Colt .45′s. Talk about dodging the PC bullet. Then were later renamed for the famous NASA Space Center in 1965. Mascot: Junction Jack.

Kansas City Royals
Another possible liberal target.

In 1969, this team was named after the home of the “American Royal”, one of the largest livestock shows and parades in the United States. Fodder for the animal rights crowd. Mascot: Sluggerrr

Los Angles Dodgers
Originally named Trolley Dodgers for the crazy maze of trolley lines near the Brooklyn Bridge. The name came from a team originally located in Brooklyn, from 1890-1957, as the Superbs through 1926, then Robins from 1927-31, and finally the Dodgers from 1932-57 (which is short for Trolley-Dodgers). They moved to Los Angeles in 1958.

Milwaukee Brewers
This team was named after the evil breweries in the city. This too is now on the liberals’ “to do” list.

This team was originally the Seattle Pilots (am I that old? I remember them…) and they moved to Milwaukee in 1970.

Minnesota Twins
Only a student of today’s liberal public school system wouldn’t know that this team was named after the “Twin Cities” where the team is located, Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota.

This team, originally the Washington Senators (I remember them too… from 1901-60), moved to Bloomington, Minnesota as the Twins from 1961-81, and then to Minneapolis, MN in 1982

Montreal Expos
Founded in 1969, the Expos (short for Exposition), which was named after the 1967 World Exposition. Anything with “World” in it has some kind of socialist connotation, and is thereby safe. Mascot: Youppi

New York Yankees
Originally called the Highlanders, because the site is one of the highest spots in Manhattan, they were referred to later as the Yankees by sportswriters, and officially changed in 1913.

They were called Highlanders both after a famous British Army regiment named Gordon’s Highlanders, and because Hilltop Park was their home ballpark and was located on a hilltop overlooking Washington Heights. In 1912, pinstripes first appeared on Highlanders’ uniforms, creating a look that would become the most famous uniform design in sports.

Called Yankees first by sportswriters Mark Roth of the New York Globe and Sam Crane of the New York Journal, the new name appeared in print for the first time on June 21, 1904 in the Boston Herald American. They were officially renamed the Yankees in 1913 after moving to the Polo Grounds, home of the National League’s New York Giants. In 1923, they moved into the new Yankee Stadium.

New York Mets
Founded in 1962, their name is short for Metropolitans, located in the New York Metropolitan area. Mascot: Mr. Met.

Oakland Athletics
Another possibly doomed logo. The Elephant. Too Republican.

This Philadelphia franchise from 1901-54, moved to Kansas City as the Athletics from 1955-67, and finally to Oakland in 1968 as the A’s. For some reason, they went back to the Athletics in 1987. Mascot: Stomper the Elephant. (You’ve been warned.)

Philadelphia Phillies
Since 1883, this team was named for a “Philly”, which is an inhabitant of the city. Not named after a female horse by sexist males. They once went by the Blue Jays from 1943-44. Mascot: The Phanatic.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Started in 1887 after the Pittsburgh Innocents who lured pitcher Lou Bierbauer from Philadelphia, lead to the name, Pirates. I guess they took things seriously in those days. Mascot: Parrot. (Racist use of a black southern accent.)

San Diego Padres
Named after the Spanish word for priest, and was inspired by the padres of the Roman Catholic Mission San Diego de Alcala. A touchy one. Those missions have historical significance to Latinos. This name may be spared. Mascot: No longer the San Diego Chicken. Now they’ve got some dancing Padre.

San Francisco Giants
Word is this team got its name when their manager stood up in the dugout after an important victory in 1885 and stated that he was very proud of “My big fellows! My giants!” The franchise resided in New York from 1883-1957, and moved to San Francisco in 1958. Mascot: Lou Seal.

Seattle Mariners
Founded in 1977, the Mariners were named after the maritime industry and history of area. I’m sure they killed lots of whales and dolphin. The could be in some groups’ crosshairs. Mascot: The Moose.

St. Louis Cardinals
We’ve all been fooled.

From 1882-91, they were called the Browns in the American Association. From 1892-98, they were the Browns in the National League. In 1899, the Perfectos (possible Latino slur) in the National League, and from 1900 to present, the Cardinals. Named by new owners and their appropriately colored uniforms, of the Maroons, thus the name is used to refer to the color, not the bird! Mascot: Fredbird.

Tampa Bay Devil Rays
The other of the 1998 expansion teams, it was named after the devil and manta rays in the bay area. Mascot: Raymond.

Texas Rangers
Named after the famous Texas State Police. Not a good move. To some liberals, police are racist, profiling thugs. President George W. Bush once owned them. Double whammy.

They moved from Washington DC to Arlington, Texas in 1972.

Toronto Blue Jays
Founded in 1977, this team earned its’ name through a contest. Simply named the Blue Jays because the team’s colors are blue. Personally, I thought there would be more to this one. I’m a bit disappointed. Mascot: B.J. Birdy. (Won’t touch that…)

So as you can see, there doesn’t seem to be too many happy white men sitting in a back room, coming up with racial slurs to name their teams. In fact, a lot of the names are tributes of some sort. I guess I’m just insensitive if I can’t see it.

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